Interesting times

I've been meaning to blog about the last couple weeks for a while, but I've been too busy glued to my TV screen in an attempt to decipher it all. I find it incredible that we are seeing so much government intervention from the most capitalist country in the world.

Talking of incredible, the take-over of HBoS is another one. The Bank of Scotland is such an institution here. It was founded in 1695 by an Act of the pre-Union Scots Parliament and has been tied up with so much of Scotland's history, including the Darien trade adventures which saw us get in such a mess we had to sell up to England in 1707.


I do find the argument for Scottish independence rather risible in the wake of the past few weeks; we are all so interconnected, I don't see what it would bring economically, but then, it's not really an economic argument, is it?

I do find these times somehow exciting, and I know I can say this as I have nothing to lose. I really do hope it will bring a sea change in attitudes and we will rebalance some of our materialistic excesses. That is probably rather naive - I realise I am quite young as this will be the first big downturn I've lived through on the job market. It has happened before and we've gone back to being the same greedy humans as always!!

Whether I'll find these times quite so exciting when I don't get one of these jobs and have to go live with my Dad in Montrose is quite another story. Perhaps my original plans may have to be shelved for a while, and I'll need to head back to the economic power centre / vortex that is London. We'll see; all will be clearer in the next few weeks. It is so true that the only certainty in life is uncertainty and change. It's awesome.

Transitions

What an interesting day. Off I went to meet a colleague/ new friend for lunch, ostensibly to talk about marketing roles in Edinburgh. But just a little scratch beneath the surface and we end up talking about what we really want to do in life. She intends to set up a cake shop, so Sarah, looks like you'll have competition for your American bakery chain.

Add this to a chance meeting I had earlier in the week with Lynda, my old uni friend. Given she lives in Leipzig and I've not seen her for two years, this is quite a coincidence. Turns out she's decided to give up on the marketing and train as an English-language teacher. I talked her into giving me a German refresher tonight in preparation for my Visit Scotland interview on Monday; I was pleasantly surprised at just how much of the language I remember. I'm glad, I worked really hard at it for many years.

She was telling me (in German I may add, be impressed) that she never really realised she was just going through the motions with her marketing work until she started this course. How often she'd go to evening dos and put on the face and be bored, whilst tonight she actually wanted to go out for a beer with her students.

It does beg the question: does anyone really enjoy working in marketing? Really, really, truly love it? It struck me yesterday at the Marketing Society conference too. Some very slick presentations, but not much soul. And yet I found myself missing my role and my old world and the status it conferred. Crazy.

My meetings are also a wonderful reminder that we are naturally drawn to evidence that supports our thought patterns. I was reminded of this tonight in a coaching blog I read.

It's true. But still, I'm left with the question.

Musical memories

Was out tonight in one of these style bars full of overdressed men and women. At one point I thought I'd really overdone it, felt I was hallucinating, I was surrounded by men in tuxedos. I wasn't, it was just 28 drunk guys on a stag do. (Exactly. I know as I got talking to them.)

Loads of cheesy music in this bar, but one track in particular struck home - I remember Laurent Garnier closed on it at Space in Ibiza, 2002. I tried to tell those around me how awesome it was and what a fantastic experience I'd had there. They looked at me blankly.

At the moment, it still feels like yesterday. Admittedly, I'm pissed as I write this and I can't name it, couldn't even identify it if you played it to me now. But play it again and it would all be there. Music and memories. Such emotional power. It's probably been compounded by a wasted message I got from Iain, it's his end of summer party tonight and I wish I was there.

You don't realise how fleeting these moments are at the time; they are what make life feel truly alive. If I hear that track in the nursing home, I'll still remember. As with loads of others, evoking different times. Sometimes I feel I live in memories.

Relapse

Definite relapse today whilst sitting on my inactive arse trying to finish a dull presentation. I was languidly moving little coloured stars around in powerpoint and trying to follow some suggestions on how I could improve the structure and flow to sell the story more effectively. As you can imagine, my concentration didn't last long, and as if by magic, I ended up here, at Ski Independence.

This outfit are based in Edinburgh and they have North American jobs for this season! North America! When there isn't a sniff of an H2B in sight. It's a sign, I know it.

Oh God. Rang focused and committed sister for emergency chat on these very two character traits in which I am sorely lacking. Honestly, I think I have ants in my pants for my whole family. I don't know where I get it from, both my Mum and my Dad are very good at making decisions and sticking to them. Well, actually, that's perhaps not strictly true.

Sigh. Escapist fantasies of powder/ mountains/ green card/ me in another life aka Kristen Ulmer, this is her above. She does Zen-type ski breaks for a living these days. How totally cool. Should've just blown some money on a few days with her when I had the chance.

Some people

I met Arun Gandhi yesterday, grandson of Mahatma Gandhi. What an amazing man, what a wonderful speaker. He really did "glow in the dark", as Victor so perfectly put it. So much of his talk was personal, about the time he spent with his grandfather when he was a grotty teenager and what he learned in that time - and I left feeling nourished and convinced I could make a difference in some small way.

He spends his life campaigning for peace and non-violent activism and when searching for a link to read more about him, I was saddened to find that in January he was widely criticised for his comments on the Israel/ Palestine struggle and had to resign from his institute as a result. Illustrates the danger of intervening in such a violent and protracted struggle, even though I am sure he had the best of intentions.

The talk was part of the Festival of Spirituality and Peace which I've been doing a little volunteer work for, so uplifting to have all of these people from different faiths and cultures together discussing issues that truly matter and also just having fun. These guys from Zimbabwe, they're called Siyaya, did the most amazing song and dance in a stuffy Anglican church, it felt a little surreal but also oh so inspiring. Quite a change from the dour hymns! And not for the first time, I was left thinking it is no bloody wonder nobody goes to church in this country anymore.

(And it also left me thinking about an adventure to Africa... but as I'm supposed to be working on my commitment issues, that's going to have wait!)

Fantastic weekend.

Movements tell a hundred words

I'm going to be a Duke of Edinburgh Award Leader. This means I get my very own group of 14 year olds to encourage to achieve something in their teens - unlike mine, which were spent getting wasted on 'mixies', that unique form of Scottish cocktail, and smoking myself sick whilst hanging around in bus shelters hoping for a fumble with the local talent.

As part of the application, I needed to do an enhanced criminal record check. This requires submission of the past ten years of addresses. I found it most disconcerting to try and write these down. It took some doing!! In particular, I realise that although I think I want a settled existence, all the evidence is to the contrary. Clearly, I have ants in my pants.

Here's the list.

• Gosford Place, Edinburgh - 2 months
• Salt Lake City - 5 months
• Nepal - 2 months
• Wanaka, NZ - 2 months
• Batu Puteh, Borneo - 3 months
• 61 Canning Road, Highbury - 1 year 6 months
• 10B Tabley Road, Tufnell Park - 8 months
• 2 months crashing on floors and then with Garry & Cat post relationship collapse
• Somewhere in Queens Park - 6 months. Interestingly, I can't remember the address. Obviously blanked this one from the memory in spite of its significance.
• Somewhere in West Hampstead - 6 months.
• 139 Rathcoole Gardens, Hornsey - 1 year 6 months
• 224 Fernhead Road, Queens Park - 1 year 2 months
• 162 Kingston Road, Jericho, Oxford - c. 8 months
• Witney, Oxfordshire - 3 months in the sticks, a kind of 'trial run' that never got past the gates
• 4 Warwick Street, Oxford - 3 years

Scary.

A reminder

I'm just about to upload some pictures from the weekend and I came across this in my files. I took this image in the week before I left BT as a reminder never to go back. It was what I could see directly in front of me. Oh, the irony. In case you can't read it, the full text is as follows:

Heart?

He has it.

Do you?

Heart: We believe in what we do.

Live the values. Create the customer experience. Make our vision reality.

Worship at the corporate temple.

Actually I made that last sentence up. It wouldn't be out of place in all of that though. There's a comedy show at the Fringe called 'Who Writes This Crap?" I feel this could well be a must attend for me as a creator of such nonsense.

On another interesting BT note, Michelle rang me today to tell me they were getting sued as I hadn't paid a bill to Haymarket. We're due in court on Tuesday. How hilarious. And how truly incredible that nobody has paid it in all that time.

Here's another one. My daily view. Really, it's truly incredible that anyone can be inspired and creative and enthusiastic in this environment. To me, this goes against all common sense.