Rabbit in the headlights. That's how I feel.
6 months into rehab and I think I'm now out of the traveller's mindset. Feeling very back in the real world at the moment; anxious, unsure, have ideas, don't know how to execute them, wondering if I've made the right choice - what's more important to me, place or interesting work, worried about money/ economy, bit bored, miss my close friends - all resulting in CHRONIC procrastination and a huge desire to f*ck off again.
Feels just like before I left. Self-obsessed and unable to enjoy the moment. It's getting to the scary point, I am going to have to commit to something. Oh my God, I can feel my palpitations rising as I type. Do I have to face it? Really? Why am I so unable to nail my colours to a mast? All pop psychology welcome!
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6 comments:
I'm the last person to say anything but if it helps, just make a decision and commit to it. So long as you're committed to it, you'll never regret it in the long run....
and now, I'm off climbing again.... :)
You have option paralysis: an endless amount of choice coupled with an inability to commit to anything.
Neal, thanks, I know this but I'm not good at putting it into action. You are quite right.
Anonymous... I am sure that is you Mr Burnside, I recognise that tone. I know the problem, it's the cure I need! Unfortunately it's an internal solution that's required, which will take some doing!
awww Han - I wonder if some peace is what you need lovey. No need for psychology or fancy answers. Will be thinking about you and hoping that you find what you're looking for...oh hang on....maybe that's the problem ;)
Very insightful Mairi. The thing is, I found that during the year away. Not all the time, but most of it and that was as much about a state of mind as a place or a person or a thing. It always is, that's the interesting thing. It's not just an external answer I need, although that definitely plays a part. Working on it!
I think having an overarching framework is important as it feeds into all the smaller decisions which is what you seem to be struggling with. Personally I wouldn't look for answers internally; in my experience that just leads to intense introspection.
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